**This is not a spoiler-free review of this episode. This review is also from a non-reader, and any comments revealing spoilers from the books will be deleted.**
Lord John Breaks the Bro Code, Part Deux
Episode 712: “Carnal Knowledge”
Written by Written by Toni Graphia, Directed by Lisa Clarke
Initially, I assumed this episode would take its sweet time in the big reveal. That our two besties with benefits would try to hide the truth from Not!Dead Jamie (Sam Heughan) as long as humanely possible.
However, Lord John (David Berry) has never been the type of man to conceal his shame, particularly to the real love of his life, who just happens to be the love of Claire’s life, and then they weren’t sleeping with each other, they were sleeping with him —
Jamie can’t help but scoff at how ridiculous Lord John’s confession sounds (poor guy didn’t last five minutes in his fake kidnapping before spilling the beans.) It’s nice to see Sam exercise his (under-appreciated) comedic chops in the episode’s opening moments. Who knew Jamie and Lord John would be the show’s best comedic duo?
In that moment, Lord John regretted his drunken night of whiskey and chill.
This was by far the most hilarious Outlander episode opening by far — I haven’t felt this hooked in a while. What I DIDN’T expect was Jamie happily handing Lord John off to some angry Continental soldiers, who were eager to accuse Claire’s one-time lover of being a spy.
I knew Jamie had a fiery rage within him when it came to Claire, but damn—handing off a retired British soldier to a group of angry Americans?
Damn.
Not the kind of father/son bonding William expected.
Both Greys (well, one real Grey and one fake Grey) are having a very bad day in this episode. Poor William (Charles Vandervaart) struggles with daddy issues while his real dad and fake dad are duking it out over Claire’s honor.
Honestly, I struggled to care about William in the episodes before this. But his arc in “Carnal Knowledge” was well handled, and my heart hurt for him by the end.
And also.
Is it horrible of me to say William has more chemistry with Rachel (Izzy Meikle-Small) than Ian (John Bell)?
Of course, kissing someone without their consent is never okay! But I really loved the fire Rachel displayed when she was fighting with William. In that moment, I understood why both men were fighting over her. (There’s a lot of men fighting in this episode isn’t there? Someone call a colonial therapist.)
Struggling with the big Papa! Jamie reveal, William attracts a snarky lady of the night named Arabella (well, Jane actually, but she doesn’t mention that until later).
To say that William and Jane’s (Silvia Presente) first bedroom encounter is awkward as hell would be an understatement. Even your gay adopted dad has better luck with the ladies, William! Get it together!
I kid.
OR AM I.
When men are fighting over you, but you’re just a chill girl who loves her hot Scot.
Meanwhile, Claire (Caitriona Balfe) remains blissfully unaware of Lord John’s predicament. Her OG! Husband, Jamie, gets right to it when he returns home, still fresh and full of rage after clocking (in) on Lord John’s face.
Now, I can’t speak for everyone, but if I found out my spouse had slept with my gay friend when they both thought I was dead at sea, I wouldn’t want to know the exact details of their sordid night.
However, that’s EXACTLY what Jamie wants to know.
What follows was the most refreshing conversation Jamie and Claire have had in a while. While I dove into their passionate declarations of love like any good Outlander fan, it was refreshing to see them genuinely work through a tough conversation with anger and grief on both sides.
Meanwhile, Roger’s beard is growing longer than the end of his storyline.
Claire gives Jamie the same haphazard explanation Lord John attempted to provide earlier in the opening (without the whole “We were F***ING YOU” line, which was downright hilarious and kind of sad).
However, Jamie needs more. It makes sense that he would try to rationalize what happened. Claire finally breaks and explains that she needed an antidote that night to her thoughts of ending her own life, and Lord John proved to be the healer she needed in that moment.
This was one of the most complex conflicts Outlander has faced in a while. Unfortunately, Jamie is still a simple man at the end of the day and boils it down to Claire, “thinking with her body.”
And that’s the story of how Jamie almost got banished to the couch.
I missed Claire letting out a good “You bastard,” but I never expected it to be aimed at Jamie after she had a one-night stand with his gay best friend.
She rightfully brings up Jamie’s past paramours during this argument, noting that she never asked for sordid details about those trysts.
Maybe she wasn’t jealous then, Jamie surmises. But he is a jealous man.
It’s a vulnerable moment for the newly minted brigadier general (why, yes, there was so much going on in this episode that I forgot General Washington showed up at one point). Jamie gets straight to the point. Is Claire still his wife?
I don’t even need to answer that. After a stressful day, William and his (real) dad end up getting some lady love.
William’s conversation with Arab — Jane, following his second visit to the brothel (brothel? Sexytimes Store? I don’t know what to call it) also betrayed a layer of vulnerability in Jamie’s bastard son that the stoic Brit had been struggling to conceal under a layer of false masculinity.
“Why did you make me break my word?” wasn’t probably the sexy pillow talk Jane was expecting after their quick little romp, but William needed to have a good cry.
She hugs him without judgment.
“So which one of us was better, Sassenach”
Meanwhile, in a brutal contrast, Jamie and Claire do what Jamie and Claire are quite good at while Lord John makes a run for it.
After Denzell Hunter (Joey Phillips) finds out that the Continental soldiers plan to hang Lord John, he slips a knife in with his lunch so he can escape.
As Jamie proves his prowess to Claire, Lord John proves that his colonial spin classes have been paying off as he runs for his life into the woods.
Someone fires a gun.
NO, NO, NO, I’M NOT FALLING FOR THIS FAKE DEATH BS AGAIN.
Until next time, Outlander fans!
THIS WEEK, FRIDAY, DECEMBER 20TH, AT 8 PM ET: EPISODE 713: “HELLO, GOODBYE”
Synopsis: “Brianna works to thwart a treacherous plan that endangers her family. A surprise encounter brings new understanding to Roger’s journey in the past. Ian and Rachel take a big step in their relationship – as the Revolutionary War rears its head once again.”
