**This is not a spoiler-free review of this episode. This review is also from a non-reader, and any comments revealing spoilers from the books will be deleted.**
Episode 715: “Written in My Own Heart’s Blood”
Written by Danielle Berrow, Directed by Joss Agnew
What gave this show the right to break my heart A MERE FIVE DAYS BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY?
I am shooketh.
The Battle of Monmouth — more like, “Who’s the absolute asshole who couldn’t AIM PROPERLY and caused the last FIFTEEN HEARTBREAKING MINUTES OF THIS GODFORSAKEN EPISODE?”
I digress.
I joked about Not! Dead Jamie (Sam Heughan) earlier this season because I had no doubt that Jamie was well — not dead. However (as someone who hasn’t read the books), this episode had me GENUINELY concerned for Claire’s (Caitriona Balfe) well-being.
Dinna Fash Sassenach, this isn’t that show about dragons
While I do find it very hard to believe that they’ll kill Claire off (Note: I try to avoid reading news coverage about upcoming Outlander episodes to keep myself as spoiler-free as possible), I’m downright intrigued about her ability to pull through this.
Also, I say this with all due respect, but for the love of ALL THAT IS GOOD, ROGER (Richard Rankin) GTFO, THIS WAS NOT THE EPISODE TO BE ON YOUR SIDEQUEST.
(With apologies to Richard, you are fantastic, of course.)
This episode felt like a classic Outlander to me — Jamie gallantly fighting for a cause he believed in, as Claire worked diligently to heal the wounded — in other words, she fought for what SHE believed in.
The moment where she bluntly told a**hole doctor what’s-his-face, “Lol, you’re respectfully a moron,” during the first onset of wounded soldiers was a great moment of comic levity before Claire was SHOT IN THE ABDOMEN WTF.
The irony of the healer needing a doctor sent me straight to KINGDOM COME, I TELL YOU.
I missed Claire’s voiceovers. She explained her heavy feeling of foreboding throughout the entire episode, but I will say that I was convinced something bad would happen to Jamie. As Claire notes about mid-way through the episode, she thought she was safe in the medical staging area because of THE WHOLE RULE THAT YOU AREN’T SUPPOSED TO SHOOT THE DAMN DOCTORS, YOU INCOMPETENT MORONS.
How fast can a man earn an MD, asking for a friend
Being the nerd that I am, I Googled, “When did it become illegal to harm doctors on the battlefield?”
TURNS OUT IT WASN’T UNTIL THE GENEVA CONVENTION IN 1864!!!
I am bereft over here.
OH, AND WHAT THE HELL? JANE (Silvia Presente) was ARRESTED? Honestly, that was the only sidequest I cared about in this hell of an episode. Of all the new characters introduced recently, I’ve cared about Jane and Fanny (Florrie May Wilkinson) the most.
And what stupid joke did I automatically think of when Fanny informed William (Charles Vandervaart) that Jane was in trouble and needed him?
When there’s a Will, there’s a way.
I’ll see myself out.
BACK TO THE MORE PRESSING MATTER AT HAND.
Someone call Gloria Gaynor because Claire WILL SURVIVE.
The thing about Claire is that she wouldn’t have been able to live with herself (outside of the GUNSHOT WOUND) if she had abandoned her patients.
The only thing Claire loves more than Jamie? Healing the wounded and sick. There was no way she was going to abandon ship.
Also, can we PLEASE give Caitriona and Sam an Emmy ALREADY? That triumphant moment, their eyes reconnected — the way you could see Jamie’s heart shattering the second he realized Claire was wounded — Claire’s complete shock once she realized she’d be hit.
These two have deserved recognition for their incredible work over the years, but that moment alone was among one of the most heartbreaking moments on television.
In my humble opinion.
At that moment, Rachel (Izzy Meilke-Small) was like, “Maybe thy WILL choose violence today.”
OK, let me play devil’s advocate. Based on the a**hole doctor’s limited training, it makes sense that he would see Claire as a lost cause. HOWEVER, it’s also very evident that he just wants to get the heck outta dodge, hence Jamie’s completely understandable rage (and INCREDIBLY EPIC INSULT THAT HE HURLS AT THE RETREATING DOCTOR’S BACK.)
Talk about bad timing — a soldier arrives at the church, informing Jamie that General Lee has recalled him to the battle.
Jamie writes his resignation letter on the soldier’s back — in CLAIRE’S BLOOD.
Like damn, that looked like it belonged on a heavy metal album cover or something. Jamie’s resignation will obviously have some repercussions in the next episode, as that could be seen as desertion. HOWEVER, given what we know about General Washington and General Lee’s animosity, Jamie’s favorability ratings with the future first American president might save him from a not-so-dishonorable discharge.
One thing I didn’t quite understand was how Claire survived the night. Was she able to successfully guide Jamie through the process of staving off blood loss?
Either way, she’s incredibly weak in the morning. Thankfully, a competent doctor, Denzell Hunter (Joey Phillips), arrives.
AND OMG, THE CHEESE FROM THE MARQUIS.
Marquis’ cheeses (try saying that five times fast) might save Claire from a post-op infection! Even in her near-death state, Claire realizes that Denzell can make a makeshift antibiotic from the moldy cheese (and here’s another instance where I thank God for MODERN MEDICINE).
Claire and Denzell assess that the bullet trying to kill Claire must be lodged in her liver. Denzell quickly gets to work as Claire goes under, and WHAT THE HELL IS GOING TO HAPPEN! I NEED TO KNOW NOW.
Oh yeah! And Ian (John Bell) killed the Hessian guy. Honestly, why did they even bother adding sidequests in this episode?
UNTIL NEXT TIME, OUTLANDER FANS!
IN TWO WEEKS, ON FRIDAY, JANUARY 17TH, AT 8 PM ET: EPISODE 716: “A HUNDRED THOUSAND ANGELS”
Synopsis: “Denzell must perform a dangerous operation with the skills he’s learned from Claire. William asks for help from an unexpected source in his mission to save Jane.”
